I grew up on a normal street.

A paved road in front of a double wide.

A half circle drive way covered by rocks.

Two large trees and a fence.

A front door and some wooden steps.

A sea of brown shag carpet under my feet.

I had hope.

To be like my mother.

To be even better.

I hoped to give.

Yet waited restlessly.

Not trusting in the process.

Nor in God to provide.

I travelled the wrong roads.

Gave love to souls only meant to learn from.

Then it happened to me.

Only by a deep moving Grace.

Over a cup of coffee.

Sitting down to read.

In Stillness.

That hope was fulfilled.

And it brought me peace.

In a man.

I looked up.

He stood tall beside me.

A plaid coat, shoulders broad.

My future presented itself.

I could have said no, but I did not.

I couldn’t.

Now the curve of his mouth is in our daughters smile.

His eyes in the face of our son.

The sound of his childhood voice echos from our children.

I so longed for that sunny day.

My heart hoped for that special sun to rise in my sky.

I longed for its glow to move over the land of my being.

I impatiently waited and hoped to be more.

To be someone.

To belong.

To find the meaning that only motherhood brings.

Then It happened to me.

A life altering change swirled down in my cells.

A plastic stick, a pink line.

A daughter.

One first touch.

The soft skin of her face.

The music of her first cry.

The beauty of her.

Filling me with song.

Light stretched its hand to me.

I burst through the doors of my dreams.

The light illuminated the way.

I had gained entry into my hopes.

Yet.

At times I was distracted by the pains.

Or caught up in shadows.

Lost in the mundanes.

Distracted by dust.

Missing the full glory of its rising.

Like all other days.

It moved into a memory of time.

Suddenly a Son.

The doctor lifted him up.

Joy burst from deep inside me.

My son! I cried out.

Soft little hands and the beat of his heart set against my chest.

I held him in peaceful quiet.

He filled me with strength.

The becoming profoundly changed me.

A gift of sunlight.

Moving over my leaves healing my soul.

A pure light that cast itself upon me.

It healed the landscape of my heart.

It closed the wounds of my ground.

Motherhood was set upon me like a crown.

A great victory has occurred.

Grace has come.

It has flown in the wind with the birds.

It has filled the air of me. I can breathe.

I am forever changed.

Motherhood.

It’s a one of a kind hope.

It’s a hope that weaves the binding of an empty book.

It is a book of the future with empty pages awaiting to be filled.

An up and coming blessing is this kind of sun.

I now move through my life in healing.

Each day is brighter than the last.