On one particular evening with a blue moon hanging in the sky going to work felt slightly risky. I am not generally superstitious, but it truly seems as though a full moon leads to chaos amongst our patient populations. At the beginning of my shift I noticed a bowl filled with small apples sitting on the break room table. I ate one. As I bit into the fruit my mouth watered heavily. The sweet juices brought joy to my heart. It was so refreshing. So I ate more.

By the end of my shift I stopped at the bowl. As I looked at the apples I felt a bit of guilt from having already eaten so many. Despite this I picked up two more apples. I left the unit with both those apples in my right pocket. Something inside me said I wasn’t going to leave the hospital with them.

As I walked past a green couch close to the pedway. I saw an image in my mind of the apple sitting on its arm. An invitation extended itself to me to share. I could sense that the apples were for someone else. I ignored this direction while rationalizing it as imagination rather than divine direction. I kept walking past the couch. I could see the pedway up ahead.

The pull inside my heart became stronger so that I was not able to ignore it. I knew I needed to give someone the apples. I knew they were not for me. It came to mind to stop off on one of the other medical units to see if a certain staff member whom I am quite fond of was working. I saw an image in my mind of me giving her the apples.

I stopped walking and I stood in the hallway just past the gift shop. I closed my eyes. I asked God if it was him talking or if I was just a bit too imaginative?

I felt a strong urdge to void. So I turned around and started walking to the bathroom. The staff room on this medical unit was located off unit near the bathroom. I decided to stop off inside. The decision was made that I would lay the apples on the table. I would let them go.

Surprise filled me when I opened the door to find the exact nurse I wanted to see sitting at the end of the table. I gave her the apples then told her about the battle in my mind. I shared with her how I felt the pull to share the apples with her. I sat down at the other end of the table and smiled.

I am absolutely not in control of the world. The moment I walked into amazed my heart. If I had changed anything in any way things would have been different. The timing of her taking her break at the exact moment I entered the break room was splendid. The answer had come to me. It turned out to be divine direction.

We sat and visited. She shared her wisdom and thoughts with me. Although I can’t recall all of them for sharing here I held them in my heart. To summarize, she talked about how we are not alone in our human journey. She stated “I believe we all have split personality’s. Nurses have three. They have their work self, home self and alone self.” This was one thing I recalled afterward. I wondered who we all really were and how I could amalgamate the three together. The question though is should we? Maybe being diverse in who we are leads to intimacy. It is a special gift for us to be seen and to see others. She continued on with treasured thoughts such as how everything works out for a reason.

In psalms 23 it says that God sets a table before us. A table set for you suggests an invitation. It means that you are thought of. You are a welcome and expected guest. I believe that in the distance of time blessings await us at a table. We just have to allow ourselves to hear the invitation, move in that direction, and take a seat. For me, the apples led me to a table of intimacy for a moment.

I am so thankful for the seed that grew the tree, for the sun that shone its light for it to grow, for the water to nourish it, for the hand that picked the apple, and for the person who thought to share the abundance with the unit. But, above all I am thankful for divine direction from the Holy Spirit who leads us. I just need to learn to trust him. It is better to take the risk of being wrong by going to the break room and setting some random apples on a table rather than to have missed out on the special moment.