August 13, 2003
21 years old,
I had an abortion.

I was 12 weeks pregnant,
despite the ultrasound,
her heart beating with life, 
I killed my own child. 

I woke up in a chair,
a nurse feeding me cookies,
telling me to rub my stomach
so clots would come out of my womb.
Lifeless.

Everything was numb. 
I realized then that I was dead.
I was always dead and
I just didn't know.
I had no hope. 

It took a long time for Him to resuscitate me,
but, Jesus brought me to life.
He saved me.
He gave me a gift,
a value above what I deserve.

He set before me a hope.
He holds my child in His arms.
While I serve Him I wait, 
to see them both 
and to be given a new name.