But Then…

Some days I see the dishes like Rocky mountains piling high.

But then…

I remember the meals we made, my ability to nourish your little body and the hope of using those dishes again.

Some days I feel so out of shape and unhealthy.

But then…

Your little hands reach out to me and we dance endlessly in the kitchen as I toss you strongly into the air.

Some days I feel lost and alone.

But then…

You say “Mommy” as you reach out to me wanting to sit on my lap. You remind me that I am your home, and that you are also mine.

Some days I want us to buy a new house to start fresh in.

But then…

I remember your father and I’s first kiss on the couch down stairs, our laughs in the kitchen, dancing around the table, and your little feets pitter patter on sunny mornings as I follow you down the hallway.

Sometimes I feel lost in the world like I am not doing anything of worth.

But then…

I see you smile. I watch you eat. I feel your little presence around me and I know that it is all worth while. All that I do is for you.

Some days I feel as though I should be doing more. That my life requires me to be more productive.

But then….

I remember that this is the best time of my life and I try to take my time.

Some days I clearly see my deep well of inadequacies.

But then…

I remember that God is my enough. He fills me with hope to do better, more love to nurture life, faith for forgiveness, and a new sense of purpose each day.

Some days I find myself surrounded by darkness.

But then…

I remember the stars, and am reminded that the sun will shine on me tomorrow.

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